If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
