We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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