We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
