About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
