Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
