So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
