That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My pussy is not your playground.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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