and you said cock pushups were impossible
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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