theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
