You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize