just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
