I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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