did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
