I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize