Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
sarcasm needs its own font
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
