grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
false alarm. still invincible.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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