So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
