we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
