These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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