i already hear my dad disowning me
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
