nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
