Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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