just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
40s are totally the cure
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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