I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
