O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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