Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
