respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
