I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
