Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
