thus making me awesome and them whores
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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