i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
farters have to be the big spoon...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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