Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
