The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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