were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
