My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
