I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
