i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
God I need to hump something, right now.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
