I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Randomize
