There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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