looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize