If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We need to rekindle our bromance
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize