if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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