I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
