Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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