Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
should my penis look like a turkey
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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