I'm going to rape someone's good day.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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