Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
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