i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
