I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize