i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
