There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
