Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize