I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
