He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize