I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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