im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
we're so committed to being not committed
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
