I want to make a zoo with you.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
