well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
