We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
