I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
