Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
